Confession.

I just finished my workout today.

Insanity Plyometric. The very first workout in the Insanity program, even though I've already started Insanity since December last year.

It's already September and I haven't even complete one cycle.

It's always like this..... After doing it for a week (3-4 times a week excluding swimming/jogging/kickboxing) I just stopped doing it for maybe very long then when I want to do it again, I was afraid of not being able to do Month 2 one then ill restart all over again.

I am not consistent at all.

After the workout just now, I looked at myself in the mirror and was totally grossed out by the way I looked. I looked pregnant? Maybe it's the amount of water I took during the workout but I am so disgusted with myself now. 

My confession?

I haven't been watching my diet for the past 3 weeks and its really annoying the hell out of me.

I've been trying to cut my carbs by drinking proteins, eating more meat, veggies and fruits.

But in between I always feel entitled to that Muffin, or the cookie, or that potato chips, or that chocolate.

Or tht waffle.

Then I would just eat them.

Yes I cut my carbs but not my sugar intake. What's the difference seriously?

At first when I put the first one in my mouth, I told myself its only a piece. I workout. I am fine.

Then "mmm this taste so good" then I'll grab more.

Another confession?

I haven't been working out like I used to anymore.

I use to workout at least 4times a week, max 6.

Now, I only workout 2-3 times a week. Wtf is wrong with me?

I gained 2 kg and my face is alot more puffy now. I've received comments from people that I became chubby again, like how I used to be when I was at my fattest.

Not to mention all that clubbing in the past month with that alcohol I took.

The effect is showing now.

Sighs.

End of confession.

I feel so weak, so lethargic and lost my motivation.

How am I going to gain them back?