Confession.

I just finished my workout today.

Insanity Plyometric. The very first workout in the Insanity program, even though I've already started Insanity since December last year.

It's already September and I haven't even complete one cycle.

It's always like this..... After doing it for a week (3-4 times a week excluding swimming/jogging/kickboxing) I just stopped doing it for maybe very long then when I want to do it again, I was afraid of not being able to do Month 2 one then ill restart all over again.

I am not consistent at all.

After the workout just now, I looked at myself in the mirror and was totally grossed out by the way I looked. I looked pregnant? Maybe it's the amount of water I took during the workout but I am so disgusted with myself now. 

My confession?

I haven't been watching my diet for the past 3 weeks and its really annoying the hell out of me.

I've been trying to cut my carbs by drinking proteins, eating more meat, veggies and fruits.

But in between I always feel entitled to that Muffin, or the cookie, or that potato chips, or that chocolate.

Or tht waffle.

Then I would just eat them.

Yes I cut my carbs but not my sugar intake. What's the difference seriously?

At first when I put the first one in my mouth, I told myself its only a piece. I workout. I am fine.

Then "mmm this taste so good" then I'll grab more.

Another confession?

I haven't been working out like I used to anymore.

I use to workout at least 4times a week, max 6.

Now, I only workout 2-3 times a week. Wtf is wrong with me?

I gained 2 kg and my face is alot more puffy now. I've received comments from people that I became chubby again, like how I used to be when I was at my fattest.

Not to mention all that clubbing in the past month with that alcohol I took.

The effect is showing now.

Sighs.

End of confession.

I feel so weak, so lethargic and lost my motivation.

How am I going to gain them back?

Don't let go too soon; but don't hold on too long

Caught this show 2 weeks back and got reprimanded by my friend whom I asked to watch with.

Was quite nice in the first place, then it got so lame and boring we were dying for it to end :S

Visited Sumaiya at her house for Hari Raya gathering with the usual poly people. Nice to see Pearlyn back in Singapore after so many years! Had a nice catch up! 

After the girls left, we stayed behind and have no idea why they started sharing ghosts stories and stupid XQ freaked Kit Yee out just by tapping on the table. 

And Jian Yun was an ass; he came to sit behind me suddenly and I warned him not to scare me. He said he won't, and I TOTALLY BELIEVED him. So I let my guard down completely, and he gave me such a fright just when Sumaiya was talking about the legs dropping down, I think my soul left me for a micro-second and came back.

Heavy rain after lunch, didn't have umbrella and so we got stuck in Payless and do stupid stuffs.

Met up with Phil & Nick to go Dhoby Ghaut for blood donation!

Poor me, got pricked to test for Haemoglobin to only be told that I couldn't donate cause my Haemoglobin level was low. Then I realised, my period just ended so maybe thats why :( And the doctor says that my blood pressure is on the lower side, weird.

Went for dinner at Maki-san at Cathay. I suggested that place as I've seen my friends posting their sushis on Instagram and it looked nice!

You can customise your sushi by choosing the rice (white or brown), then the ingredients and sauce you want to be wrapped with. I loved it! So niceeeeeee *slurps*

Then to Marble Slab Creamery for ice cream.. Sighs, so sinful.

Met up with Melvin & Bernice after work one day as they said they wanted to give me their wedding invitation. End up Melvin forgot to bring it along (-_-) Anyhoo had a great time catching up with each other and we talked about the stuff we did when I was still active in church. AHH memories :D

Time really flies. I still remembered the first time when Melvin told me secretly that he was dating Bernice for almost a year already and they've been going underground because Bernice's parents were really strict. 

At that time, they were always wearing the same color code to church every Sunday and I didn't even thought anything weird about it, thinking it was just coincidence. And it was kept underground for quite a while after he told me. Until when the parents found out it was already about 2 years?

Now they are getting married.

Melvin requested me to do a side-by-side comparison with the old photos we took last time.

I posted it on Facebook/Instagram and my bro told me I really looked damn cui LOL.

The old pic of Mel and I was taken when we just got to know each other when I was 15. We used to hang out ALOT and study outside everyday with Trina and my bro. 

Now I know why my crush didn't liked me back last time even though he TRIED to go out with me once after knowing I had a crush on him for a year plus.. I don't blame him, really.

My super flat rebonded hair and a frameless spectacle that is SO tiny, and my ultra round face... I wouldn't go out with myself.

This was when I was 16? Wore contact lenses so not THAT bad. But still... Chubbs.

I bought this peplum dress from Love & Bravery and boy I regret SO damn much. It looked so nice on the model, and I look so OLD in it... Phil said it's the prints. I have a pretty mature face to add on.. So I should avoid this kind of florals :( I was suggesting to keep in my wardrobe until when I'm like 30+.. Hopefully peplum still in trend LOL.

I've not been practiting this for quite awhile.. Been going on an emotional roller coaster and have not been watching what I eat... Everyone said I gained weight. Sighs. I know it's not an excuse... I will work hard from now on. Need the drive.

Was introduced to new workout by Shaun T! It's called Focus T25, whereby you complete the workout in 25minutes! Its alot of high intensity stuff and they don't give you a 30-sec break like how Insanity does, cause... it's only 25minutes.

I do this when I don't have enough time for the day to workout. Like when I'm going out on weekends or I come home late from work.

Insanity takes about 1hour, excluding the time for me to cool down and shower), so I go to T25!

It's only 25minutes but man I sweat alot! But it's pretty tough on my mind because sometimes you get so tired you want a break, but you think of it being only 25minutes and it'll be over and you don't want to waste the time resting, and you have to keep pushing.

It's definitely easier than Insanity.. But I still prefer Insanity cause I can take 30secs break :p

Yiru and I sending photos of ourselves after our workout. I always send to her to motivate her to workout. We do different exercises though. I do home workouts but she has her classes at gyms.. She kept asking me to go try out her spin class and combat classes and said it's good... Maybe soon!

Ending with a photo of my round chubby cheeks... 

I NEED MY DRIVE BACK.

Need to start planning... If not I won't do anything.

Dig Deeper

I NEED NEW EXERCISE SHORTS DAMN IT.

 Look like an insane woman after Insanity. It's so hard to push that play button everytime, but am always glad and proud of myself after completing it and sweating it out. Thus a photo everytime to motivate myself so whenever I don't feel like working out I'll just look at them.

But I totally believe right now, exercise is not a problem for me. I've been through the 'Really don't feel like doing it' phase and now I have a big hurdle to cross - Diet.

Got to stop looking at potato chips during movies, stop reaching out for that digestive biscuits in the office, stop myself from ordering Sodas and get only Oolong teas if I want a cold drink in the coffeeshop. Stop eating a whole plate of rice/noodle/pasta. Stop putting so much Peanut butter and Jam on my wholemeal bread. Start loving Greek Yogurt and Oats. Start loving all the funny greens.

Start loving squats too.
In the past I really really hate them. Squats are tiring, they are sore. And if done incorrectly, they hurt my back. But I've been reading articles and listening for advices, and I conclude that squats will help me cut my legs abit better, and I will not BULK up like a man.

Start loving weights!
After being through so many cardio workouts - Running, Swimming, Cardio kickboxing, and of course, Insanity. I have to admit my tummy/waist had lost quite abit of inches and I'm seeing faint abs lines when I flex it (though still covered by a lump of fat which jumps when I jog), but my triceps are still so flimsy. I do have abit of biceps showing but the triceps is making my arms looking fat. So I think I'm going to get some small dumbbells and do more triceps exercise!

I'm a lazy person and I am very systematic. I need to come up with a plan (Reps and Sets) so I can follow through. If not I'll just maybe do like 5 reps for each set and only 1 set for the day LOL.

Time to research and dig deeper (Slogan from Insanity LOL), I've seen results but I need to push harder and find new routines because I'm at the plateau already.

I'm thinking of Gym, but I need a gym buddy! :(

Thank you Xiaobai for sending me this - Need it more than anything.

I love my Mom, Bro and friends :)

It's okay for you to delete me from Facebook and Twitter. You're not the first one anyway. This just proved how a person handle situations differently.