2013

LOL DAFUQ the last time I updated was in 2012??!?!?!?!?!

How time flies.
Reaching half of 2013 already.

Everytime I read other people's blogs, I wish I could blog like them, because whatever you write today, you can come back and take a look a few years later and 'relive' your memories.
I still have my old blog (which I decided to keep private as there was quite a big part of it with me at my lowest point, only a few close friends and boyfriend have it) and I do go back and read it up once in a blue moon, and those memories made me smile a little (talking about memories created when I was still a teenager),
so, with my current deteriorating memory, I guess it's a wise thing to blog more? So I won't forget whatever that had happened to me during my 'prime' years.
Seriously, my memory has been failing me bad, and I mean REAL bad.

I cannot remember anybody's birthday anymore, other than mine and my Mom's.
And whatever that happened for the past 3 months, I don't even remember how I lived it.
Or was it because I am always so busy, and everything's like a routine, that my brain decided to not read and store it.
I don't know how to put it, but.... My memory has been really bad.
My friend even asked me, "How come you can remember everything that happened when you were young, but whatever that happened recently, you can't even remember?". He/She (See I can't even remember who said it) said that because I was telling them about stupid stuff I did when I was young(er)

Sighs.

Okay 2013, since I'm already halfway through it, and it'll be almost impossible to blog about all the interesting stuffs that happened for the past 5 months, I'll just maybe state a few more 'interesting' stuff in point forms? So I can go like "OH YAAA I DID THAT" 3 years down the road.
Errrm but to be able to remember things that happened for the past 5 months, I need to really dig my brain (o.O)

• Passed my Taxation paper, though I failed the Law paper (again!), got 51 marks for Taxation. Hallelujah! :D
• Boyfriend and I had our 1st anniversary on 21 April 2013. We went for a simple movie, "Warm Bodies" at Shaw then dinner at Pique-Nique. He surprised me with a bouquet of blue flowers with a Teddy bear couple in it and also a Sony Walkman, for me to use it when I'm outside running, those that you just hook to your ears, no wires kind. I bought him a Braun Buffel wallet :D It was a simple affair cause he's still studying and we are trying to save money for Perhantian trip this June and also Taiwan trip with my family and cousin this December/next January. So maybe next time, I want Morton's okay baby!! :D~~~ 
• Removed my braces!!!!! It was so weird the first time when the dentist removed the braces. It was abit painful and quite uncomfortable because he was like pulling the brackets which were cemented on my teeth! After it was removed, I felt like there was no teeth, I couldn't feel my teeth at all and it was quite scary. When I rinsed my mouth, it felt like they were gonna drop :O Holy mama so scary! And a side note, I saw some food were like hardened on the brackets when it was removed, so disgusting I don't know how long the food had been there in my mouth LOL! The dentist also didn't file my teeth like what he mentioned a few months back, when I was paying the rest of the money, I asked the nurse about it. She said "Oh if the dentist never say anything means don't need" Errrrm okay can. I kind of miss my braces, I think it actually made me feel younger.
• Talking about looking younger, I realised I am aging SO FAST. Now I don't even want to take a selfie (self shot) anymore cause I look so horrible. I look tired, dull and my skin is just terrible. Could be lazy me haven't been taking care of my skin for MONTHS so it's starting to show. I use to mask every 3 days last time and do my nightly skin routine. During that time I even had people telling me I had very nice skin. Now, no one says that anymore and Phil even mentioned my skin had gotten pretty bad. Pores enlarged and skin is so lifeless now. There was a period of time I did not even remove my makeup and just sleep! And only remove it when I'm bathing the next day. Now I have ugly skin. I need to work on it.
• Scrub, mask, and serums!!!!
• Had a small company trip to Batam in March, was pretty relaxing though the bonding games they planned were stupid and practically nothing to do there. Our room had a balcony which faced the sea and it was reeallllllly awesome! But roomkeeping was damn bad, the mini-fridge had like coke stains which were sticky, bathroom had spiders, and bedsheets had stains! Overall I'm still pretty cool with it cause it's free? HAHA and it's on a working day and no leaves deducted (Unlike my previous company PUI! But that time we went Korea, so........).

Okay that'll be all for now. Really I can't remember already. Maybe I can update if I ever remember some. Some random photos below. Uploaded from my iphone, so grainy but MEHHH nevermind!
Shall post other photos next time.

I'm going Genting with my family next week! It's a 3 days 2 nights thing and I'm soooo excited I even dreamt about it LOL. I know I know Genting only ma. But it's with my family and I'm so gonna enjoy the time spent with them :))

June I'm going Batam with Tooties!
July I'm going Perhantian with Yiru, David and boyfriend!

So... time to save money! But I'm still shopping like my Dad owns a bank. TSK!

Super impromptu meetup with the CK62 gang! They damn idiot one lo, Chiuming wrote on FB tagging everyone (like anybody who works there last time, some I don't even know) except ME! Then when they were meeting up they were talking in the groupchat. I was like "You all meeting ah?" after my tuition on Sunday, then Eileen say "Don't act like you don't know leh" Biang I really didn't know about it -_- Then they said "PEIYI LAI YEWTEE" and I'm like okay.... So steady sia me :D
Look at Gary! Getting so fit now! I'm gonna ask him to train me! LOL just kidding.

Family steamboat few days back. Mommy said she feels like eating steamboat so we went grocery shopping. Feels like CNY haha. She even asked if wanna drink red wine. But end up everyone too full to drink.

Sunday breakfast with my family sometime back. Love family times :)

My pufferfish boyfriend.

Boyfriend surprised me with Twelve Cupcakes one of those days! I remember I was saying I really wanna eat their cupcakes but was too lazy to go buy and he came to my office one day and bought it for me! Super pig me ate 3 of it and had ulcer and headache the next few days cause too heaty for me -_- But still thank you baby MUACK MUACKSSSS :D

At my Uncle's wedding lunch. Am happy he found a new love, but I still think my Aunty's the best even though she had gone to Heaven.

The blue bouquet baby bought for me during our 1st year anniversary. :D

Nando's for lunch with my colleagues. Super yummy! But carbo overload. Zzzz

Bryan's birthday dinner! The cutest baby I've met in my whole life! I never really like babies until I met him! He hardly cries and is always so happy! Has big eyes and verrrryyyy chubby cheeks :))



Some random OOTD. HAHA pink pullover from Bugis which boyfriend paid for me and a skater skirt. Step one young only :D

There's no ugly women, just lazy ones

This photo was taken in October 2011, when I was around my slimmest.

I was 54kg, I lost 6kg from 60 to 54kg in 5 months at that time because I started jogging and was watching my diet.

 

But now, I'm back to 60kg, near 61kg.

Maybe it's the muscle gained from all the swimming, jogging and kickboxing, but can't be 7kgs right?!

 

I really need to work hard from now on.
I gained so much weight I look so horrible.

I can see the cheeks from my sight when I smile, my face got rounder, my shorts got tighter and I start feeling restless.

Nope I'm not sensitive or anything, I know it's the truth.

I've been trying to lose weight since I was 15, it's been 8 years. Got a little bit of
results last year and I slacked, now I got it all back.

Jiayou peiyi you can do it!

70% diet, 30% exercise.

I really need to watch my diet,
and start planning for new exercise routines when time and weather doesn't allow me to jog or swim.

Insanity? I just did the Fit Test last night and I'm having muscle sores now. It is so scary, I was so giddy and tired I lost my appetite all the way till next day until I had some food in my mouth :s

Wanted to follow the schedule they give but I guess it's impossible. Shall slowly work my way up.

Hope to have good updates when I have the time to blog next time

Breakfast

Thank you boyfriend, for making breakfast the night before every time for me to bring to work the next day even though you're already super tired.
Your efforts are not unappreciated.
I guess no one love me more than you do :) (other than my parents! Heh)

No pain no gain

**Self-reminder

Peiyi, it's time to get your ass back on track and work hard!
Stop slacking like a slob of fat on your bed everyday pressing your iphone,
start taking care of yourself and your room.

Remove makeup EVERY single day before you sleep, no matter how tired you are.
Start using all the masks/skincare products you spent so much money on.
Start controlling your diet.
Start exercising more.
Study harder!
Keep your clothes if you don't need them.

Stop shopping, take a look at your bursting wardrobe, clear those you know you will never wear again (always fail at this).

Start planning what you gonna wear the next day before you sleep and pack everything into your bag!

BLAH I just need to vent and remind myself to stop being such a fat lazy ass.
Boyfriend just commented yesterday that I am very 'lap sap' :(
I am starting to feel this way about myself too.

Need to work hard...

There's no ugly woman in this world, just lazy ones!

Para Para Paradise

Nope when I say "Para Para Paradise", it's not part of the song by Coldplay-Paradise where the chorus goes 'Dreaming para-para-paradise~~"
I'm talking about the once-super-hot arcade game by Japan, Para Para Paradise!

Was at Marina Square with boyfriend a few days back when we headed down to their arcade to take a look, we were looking for any shooting games that we know how to play. But when we reached there, I found SO many games that I used to play when I was between Pri 6-Sec2, those days where I would spend ALL my money on them and even stole my mom's :X

They had Puzzle Fighter, Street Fighter (those first version kind I think), King Of Fighter 97', King of Fighter 02' and all the games I played during those days, and that was around 10 years ago! My goodness I feel like damn old. Will upload the pics of those games next time :D

Anyway we also saw the ParaParaParadise! They had the Japan version, which is those eurobeat songs, and even Korean ones where they had H.O.T and S.E.S' songs! The korean ones are damn hard to find in Singapore last time and I always go to the Funland in Clementi (became City Vibe now) and there's always a lot of youngsters who dance really nicely (that time) like street-dancing kind, instead of following the choreograph.
It was cool during those days but that day there was a guy (with those kind of bleached hair I see 10 years ago) dancing to it and he was dancing the 'street-dance' kind people use to dance 10 years ago!
It was so damn cool last time, but I couldn't help it and laughed at him for looking so silly and old-fashioned now :p

It was SO damn popular when I was Primary 6 - Secondary 2, that people would actually queue up in front of the machine to wait for their turn to put the token into the machine and showcase their dance. My primary school friend even danced this during Teacher's day celebration, everyone thought it was JUST SO COOL.
And of course, they start merchandising and came up with VCDs (DVDs very expensive that time), where a few Gyarus will stand on screen and when the music plays they start waving their hands around, like they are playing at the machine.

So I managed to convince my dad to buy one VCD for me. And being a shy girl I am, I never danced the choreographed one in arcade but just do it at home. I would play the VCD and dance all the songs that were inside, following the Gyarus. And I would sweat like a pig! Really good exercise, like aerobics I would say :D My mom even said I lost weight when I danced to that VCD everyday during the period of time, but gained it back after I stopped zzz.

Sadly, when I moved house 2 years ago, I threw the VCD away, thinking I won't need it anymore (I lost weight that time by eating Meal replacement), but I regret now cause I'm into exercising and thought this would be a great disc for me to workout at home when it's too late to jog outside! Also to reminisce all the memories I had when I was a teen...

Only manage to find this video (mirrored version some more -__-) on Youtube, quality sucks but listening and watching them dance just make me cringe and smile at the same time :D

My favorite is always the "Velfare 2000"!

Till then! Back to work :D

What have I done? Nothing.

Went drinking with girlfriends, 1 shot + 1 vodka with orange juice, and you think I did something shameful behind you, what if I were to do it to you? If you were to go Thai Pub that night I could have well accused you of hugging or kissing the Thai girls there, and there is so much dirtier, I did not accuse because I trusted you.
You? Just a text from a friend who joked that I should stay with her brother, make you think I have something with him.
I did not delete his messages, never before. You said conversations were gone because my phone got rebooted due to the Find my iPhone app. But you said I purposely delete them.

You asked for explanations, I gave, But what did I get in return?
"You know what you did"

what did i do? drink with girlfriends, after that friend's brother came, friend's brother drove us to Zouk, Zouk full house, so we went to eat Yong Tau Foo at Redhill. Then CoffeeBean at Holland. Then both friend and bro sent me home.
I just hope someone can add in something in between that could happen to me and her brother so that I would not feel that I've been accused so horribly.

I have never done anything shameful, never betrayed you.
But because of your insecurities you label me as a whore or a slut.
If this makes you feel better for breaking up with me, lying to yourself that you dated a whore and you finally want to get rid of her, if by labeling me as this, makes you better. Just go ahead.

I will be pushed to the ground for now, but I promise I will stand up on my feet again and tell myself you're not worth it.

When there's life, there's always death.

Yeap as the title says it all, when there's life, there's always death.
Do you know?
Every second in this world a baby is born, where people rejoice and gather to welcome the new life.
On the other hand,
every second, someone dies, where people mourn and for some, gather to send them off on a journey to the other world.

A relationship between a couple also, sad to say, has 2 different endings too.
It's always either they get married or they end it.

Just yesterday, a friend of his just proposed to his girlfriend and of course she said "I do" because according to him they were a really sweet couple even though they've been together for almost 2 years.
That's not the main point anyway.

So, like I say, every single second there's someone getting married, and definitely someone breaking up.

I don't have to say more, I'm on the other side of the world.
Yes I'm happy they are getting married as I wait for my turn, but God sure knows how to play game with my life.
I was proposed,
but to a breakup.

Would I say I'm heartbroken? I don't know, I feel crushed actually, and numb, like this is the Nth time I'm treated this way and by default by now I should be used to it, this is the feeling I'm having

Am I suppose to cry? Like how I always do when I'm ditched? I don't know. Tears roll down but I managed to stop myself from wailing.

Everything was alright, I had a bad headache and he accompanied me throughout the night till the next morning. As usual I went to shower, but when I came out of the bathroom I was greeted with questions bombarding me asking if I had an affair or did I do something behind him.
As usual we argued and of course I did not do anything that betrayed him, just when I thought we were gonna have another fight over issues with his insecurities,

I saw a bag packed with full of his personal belongings.

That's when I stopped arguing and I know he's leaving.
Why? You may ask why do I think so just because of a bag full of his stuffs, maybe he just need to use them?
But no, because the past few days after we made up after a HUGE fight, he's not been himself and I know he has not been happy.
So today morning, I know he had crossed the line, he decide to end it.


This is not the first time I experience this in a  relationship. There was this guy who obviously showed to me he was unhappy with our relationship but we kept going on even though I could feel his changes. And all he need is just ONE thing, for him to snap, and allow him to let go.

He wanted to end it long ago, because he's not happy but he could not find a reason (or excuse?) to let go, so all he needs, is a reason, in fact ANY reason, for him to use, so it allows him to let go without feeling so much of a guilt.

I guess being in and out of love SO many times did help me manage my life in some ways.
It helped me to accept any breakups and not feel like my world is crashing.

Just needed a space to rant.

How am I feeling?? Numb, crushed, and just... numb.

It's like telling myself "Oh well Peiyi, this is not your first time, in fact this is your Nth time, just get use to it, it'll be over and you'll feel normal again"

Yeah that's what I say to myself so I will not do stupid stuff after a breakup every time.

There's no need to argue who's right and who's wrong, when it ends, there's no use pointing fingers.

Love is just like a gamble, you put in all, you have a 50-50 of losing everything,
that's why Mom always tell me not to put in ALL my feelings because when you lose it, you have nothing left.
At first I listened to her, put in bit by bit, and when I thought I could finally put in ALL of it,
I just have to lose it.

Suck it up bitch,
Life sucks, isn't it?

Winner takes it all, loser standing small.
I've lost, because I risked and put in my ALL, time to admit defeat.

Till then.