Move

'Withdrawal of Application for Cabin Crew',
Mail sent.
Mail acknowledged.

One thing off my head,
it's time to move on to the next phase.

Thank you Victor,
for helping me with writing the email.

And also,
Not gonna have chicken rice for lunch at work anymore Zzzzz
Stupid garlic.

I need more sleep.

Wait, do I?

Or I just need rest.

Many things in mind and I feel very head-block. 

Maybe I don't rest when I sleep. 

Wtf is the purpose for this post?

Just saying...

I am very tired :O

Emotional

Wonder if its just all these hormones rage going on inside of me again, 

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.

Feeling under appreciated, taken granted of.

Like, worthless, forgettable.

Honestly I believe there are people who cares about me, maybe it's just that I'm not getting it from people that I want to.

Life doesn't go according to what you want anyways.

Should appreciate those who cared about me instead. 

Have been going to the gym after work recently and loving it so far.

I see a few people who inspires me to work towards my goal.

But I get so so so tired after everything at the end of the day.

Like, I would just crash onto my bed the moment I reached home.

Guess I'm just not used to working out in such manner, 

Not forgetting to mention the hunger after gym session and all shops are closed by the time you wanna get food.

Just yesterday I ended everything at 10pm and there's nothing to eat.

So I have to take a near 1 hour ride back to yewtee and get my food, which resulted me in some form of gastric discomfort and bloating.

So I'm gonna get some sandwich from home and keep it in my bag till gym class is over.

Ok that's all for nonsensical ramblings from a no one.

Why so emo? Too much estrogen going around!

I hate dramas by the way. Especially dramas from a guy. Or sissy.

So no more! Tweet all you want about me. Can't be bothered. And please private your account FFS so I won't see your childish post. Why do I keep going to your twitter? Cause I find your stupidity entertaining sometimes (minus the part about me)

Good night........ To anyone who's reading

Ellie Goulding - How Long Will I Love You

How long will I love you
As long as there are stars above you
And longer if I can

How long will I need you
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you
AS long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you
As long as you want me to
And longer by far

How long will I hold you
As long as your father told you
As long as you can

How long will I give to you
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may

Memories

Weekends at home, finally found my hard disk and wanted to transfer photos from my camera... 

And browsed through my old photos. 

SO MANY!

So many memories, thank God we used to take all these photos because they are all so precious now.

Haven't been wanting to take photos recently cause I look really terrible.

Like bloated, pimply, fat :(

Just share some here...

AHXIAN I know you will like them ;)

This was my FAVOURITE photo for quite awhile...

MAI UM CHIO.

LOL!!!! Watch too much Resident Evil, play too much House of the Dead.

Even did a stupid horror video, and even managed to get one friend jumped up from her seat :D

Most epic photo, ever.

LOL PHIL YOU WIN.

We can be ahlians, can be toots also.

Phil really win la.

Ok, more normal photos.

HAHAHAHA INSIDE JOKE.

"Hello everyone! How is everybody today? Goooooooooood?!"

Cherry's birthday 

Another one for her birthday, we went Makansutra at the Esplanade :)

Mr Bean... No I mean, Mr Ben. This guy can go bang wall now.

Got pussy no friends one.

Smearing charcoal on our face was so fun, that time?

Now you try lo.......

The very first Halloween birthday surprise for Cherry pie :))

Who the fk is that on the right?

Us during Poly year 1.

Wearing the Puma tee my crush gave me for my birthday during that time.

He liked Puma, which pretty much sent me into a frenzy for Puma stuff too.

Quite sad for me uh. I used to not shop that time until he hinted me that I should dress up more.

(We didn't work out anyway, I had a major crush on him for 1 year plus. He tried, but I think I'm too fugly)

Now, I'm just a shoppaholic who is trying to cut my shopping down -_-

Smelly leg.

Nice butt Phil. Nice butt..... My hair WAS SO LONG.

That people says "The prettiest looking thing on Peiyi is her hair"

:O

No comment.

Miss you Cherry Foo :')

Mommy.

Mommy told me she has a friend who told her there's this awesome chinese herb/medicine that can cure cancer without surgery and treatments, so good that even Lee Hsien Loong takes them.

She's been telling me about this thing for quite awhile ever since stupid doctor wants me to do a second surgery.

So yesterday she mentioned it again and asked if I want to try.
Then....
She told me it's $500/GRAM.

Seriously, WTF?

I told her she's crazy. How many grams per session should I even take?!
Then she keeps saying let's just try this method.
I asked her where are we gonna get the money?
She kept going "let's just try anything that can cure you"

Such a silly Mom.
Always scrimping, saving and working so hard.
And wants to buy me herbs that cost $500/gram!
She said it's considered very cheap that Lee Hsien Loong pays more.

First, I am not from the Lee family,
and secondly, I think her friend is trying to con her.

Everytime I think of this scenario, the water tap in my eyes just turns on.
I love you, Mommy.

I told Victor I dreamt that my Mom abandoned me,
then he said something like "Your Mom loves you too much to do that"

I have to live this life and be the good daughter for her forever.

She's the biggest reason why I decided to fight this battle.

Eh you.

Go live happily with your new girlfriend and stop cursing me to die.

I wonder how she feels about having a boyfriend who can't let go of the past,

Or actually you miss me huh?!

For fuck sake.

Get over it.

You should have gotten over it when you could get into a new relationship within 2 months.

I've never ever cursed you even though you are a shitty person.

I never curse someone even if I don't like them.

Get rid of this bad habit before karma comes and find you.

This will be my last post about you.

Whatever shit you got to say about me or curse me.

It will get back to you tenfold. 

Good luck to you girl.

If you ever becomes his ex,

You'll be hated for life.

I'm not talking about myself only.

You know who I'm talking about.

Need to get this off me. 

So what I can't get in SIA? It's not because I am not qualified?

You think you're better than me you go for the interview?

And my operation won't fail.

I won't die.

I have many people who loves me and I have decided to be strong despite having going through many emotional roller coasters recently.

You hate me?

Then stop coming back and read my blog you faggot.

Does she knows that you've been reading my blog?

If she doesn't know, then you should reevaluate why are you coming back to MY space.

If she does and laughs at me with you.

I don't blame her.

She don't know me. 

She might think she knows me, from what she hears from you.

Then she can think of me that way. 

Like how i thought about your ex when you were constantly telling me shits about her when we were together.

And how you always felt so bitter towards your ex.

It's not her fault anyway, for believing in your self-made sob stories, because I think she loves you alot.

Please stop doing this. Just focus on loving her and leave me the hell alone. 

Less hate, more love?

Not love me.

Less hate on me, so you can love her more, geddit dude?

Yeap you, 

BNYY.

Bye.

My story

I had a dream;

and I chased after it.

I was so close;

but I fell sick,

everything came crashing down and my life will never be the same again.

The end.

With so many complications arising from total removal,

Maybe I should just drop this idea and just live my life as it is.

If any mishaps happened due to not going ahead with this op, ill just live my life to the fullest and leave happily.

No?

Choices, risks, decisions.

I'd say its my life I can choose how I want to live it.

But on the other hand, how could I disappoint people who loves me especially my mom?

But with so many complications,

Isn't it better to be dead than struggle with all the health problems that might follow?

Even if I'm alive, I just might be wishing I'd be better off dead.