Have I demanded alot from you?
Have I ever asked for alot of your attention, time and money?
Have I not been understanding enough?
These 4 years, people asked me if this is really what I want, because they feel that you don't seem to treat me well. They say that you are selfish and only cared about yourself.
I told them you show care and concern differently,
maybe I was just lying to myself.
Maybe I was just numbing myself from the truth, telling myself that I'm happy when I'm with you.
All I needed was your emotional support, when I'm feeling down and feel like shit.
If I'm those crazy-ass bitch that feels needy every single time, then I can totally understand its my problem.
But have I ever been like that? Do I do that all the time? I can even use the fingers on my right hand and count how many times I've done something like that for the past 4 years.
But only recently, I don't feel good (and you were part of the reason) and I needed someone.
When I came to you showing signs of cries for help, all I got were a few cold replies, den nothing.
Not even until the next day.
Where are you when I needed you?
Then next day I couldn't take your cold shoulders anymore and tried to act like I'm okay and tried talking to you.
I told you I feel neglected, like you didn't care.
And again, you showed me that you didn't care.
Then you gave me these 10 values thing and asked me to rank them.
Is this what you're going to say to me when I told you I feel neglected by you?
And after trying further to get you to comfort me, all I got were one sentence replies and you telling me you're going to bed.
You used to tell me you will want to solve any arguments we have before we end the day.
But now, you just brush me off and wants to sleep, leaving me helpless in the middle of the night with a heart full of pain.
I don't know anymore, have I wasted 4 years of my life for this?
How do you sleep peacefully when you know your loved one is in pain.
How could you?
Maybe you just don't love me anymore.
