Update-

Dear Taiwan I miss you so much :D

No time to blog about my Taiwan trip. Maybe I'll try during my CNY break (company's closed for one week WOOHOOO~)

Chinese New Year's around the corner and I'm so excited for the reunion dinners (steamboats and steamboats... and steamboats), gambling sessions, seeing friends bringing their new partner (which means more friends making), listening to new love stories lolol why I so gossipy, cracking silly jokes..

I just love the whole CNY mood thing.

It's been implanted in me that CNY is a very joyous and happy occasion since young.

It was so much more fun when we were younger...

The excitement of getting angbaos (means getting ready to buy the new Pokemon cartridge for my Gameboy or buying more 'masak')

The excitement of seeing the decorations and my Mom use to buy the vase of 'ying liu'

Excitement of buying new dresses from Cerisi and shoes from Bata (especially the 'Bubblegummers' shoes that lights up when you walk)
And all the CNY songs that my school made us sing in the assembly hall, I used to sing so loudly, showing off to my classmates I know every single lyrics LOL
Also the skits, dance and singing that the school will perform which just meant no class and only half-day at school.

Although now I'm grown up and things are so different,
No more excitements from receiving angbaos cause we are working now and getting a salary.
No more buying those red and glittery decorations cause they're just a waste of money and so not environmental friendly when you just throw them away after everything.
No more feeling of 'shopping for CNY clothes' cause I'm practically shopping every week aaaaaaaand I'm not proud of it :/
No more singing cause I can't freaking sing now!! Not that if I can sing people actually appreciate it. Cause always off key.
No more fun gatherings with relatives because the elders just drift apart due to old age and family and stuffs...

I still love CNY songs though. Only the classic ones.
Not the ones sang by Mediacorp stars and is always on replay on TV zzzzzz.

BUT always excited for gathering with friends and my family :D

So I went CNY shopping with the family after work on Monday.
Told myself don't buy so many snacks, but failed miserably.
Saw on facebook about warnings of getting ripped off by the jelly sellers at Chinatown and reminded myself not to buy.
But end up buy 1kg.
Still can bargain ask for more jellies one. The guy told my mom "See your daughter pretty I give you 5 more!"
WTF not bad :D
Was choosing the 5 more slowly until the guy buay tahan just grabbed more than 5 jellies randomly and stuffed into the bag.
Bro said it's definitely more than 1kg but I shall go home and weigh them soon LOL

Haven't been taking photos cause I've fucking gained weight!
Not gonna blame the operation for making me so inactive.
Not disciplined enough boohoo.

And CNY's coming so it's like a pretty good excuse to continue getting fat....

UPDATE (POST OP WEEK 7)
My voice is getting SO much better!
Since Monday when I woke up I could actually talk properly for the first few sentences,
then as the day goes by, I started to trail off again....

As time goes by.. I start waking up with my normal voice and could speak about 5 sentences properly, while still having a hoarse voice.

Then for now, I can talk throughout the day. But I have to take breaks in between to restore it before talking again.
Like mana need to restore after using magic for awhile.
One week ago I was still worrying that my vocal chords were actually permanently damaged cause it didn't get better at all.
Now I'm relieved :)
Thanks to the Multivitamins Victor recommended,
and also the chinese physician Kit yee recommended.

Thankyou everybarddddddyyyyyy!

Okay end of post.
Goodbye Shixian.
My only reader, don't say I never update la!

:D

It's getting to me me me me
Can I don't go for another round of surgery again.

That pain :O
URRRRGH GRAHHHHH :(

I hate my life.

#randomwhining
#ignorethispost

When you get closer to someone, even a friend, their traits inevitably amplify. They smile wider, cry harder, shout louder, love stronger. Maybe they didn't change, you just got to know them a little better.

LOL talk cock

I know I have to accept things that happened.

I won't lie and act tough because I really can't do it now.

I will learn to accept.

Disappointments

Sadness

Regrets

Rejections

Things that will never be mine no matter how hard I work for it just because this is how the world works.

I will look at the stewardesses, Changi airport, Singapore Airlines and accept that I'll never be like them.

I won't deny it affects me so bad when I see photos of the girls I met going for trainings and having so much fun.

I will learn to accept.

But not now.

Then again,

not now, then when?

Side note: 

Post op week 4. Getting back to working out slowly, my body is not as strong as before. 

Because I haven't work out for too long? Or because my body is still trying to recover?

But I'll take one step at a time. Wound is closed but still hurts when I stretch too far.

My doctor asked me to take the painkiller and just stretch, if not my muscles will be stiff.

Like seriously? He said it won't tear but it's my body I guess I know it better than him.

Now I have to make another major choice, again.

Mom was pissed at doctor for not removing the whole thyroid in the first place because she saw how I suffered post-op (cause I am weak la I know) and how it got her worried so bad.

But doctors just said they were hoping the lymph nodes were not affected when they remove the first half.

If my lymph nodes are clear, that means I'm totally safe, it's stage 1 and I'm cleared from cancer!

Which meant I still have a glimpse of hope of handing in a good medical report to the SIA doctor and get the job.

Luck is not on my side.

This is just not for me.

I have to be positive.

Turning 25 this year, life has so much to offer.

I promise to improve myself this year and get rid of all my bad habits,

which include being late (LOL I bet whoever is reading now will nod your head incessantly), and using too much social media and watching too much tv.

Okay goodbye.

Btw, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From now on, no more sad sad posts.

I want to be happy