Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Heartless.
Have I demanded alot from you?
Have I ever asked for alot of your attention, time and money?
Have I not been understanding enough?
These 4 years, people asked me if this is really what I want, because they feel that you don't seem to treat me well. They say that you are selfish and only cared about yourself.
I told them you show care and concern differently,
maybe I was just lying to myself.
Maybe I was just numbing myself from the truth, telling myself that I'm happy when I'm with you.
All I needed was your emotional support, when I'm feeling down and feel like shit.
If I'm those crazy-ass bitch that feels needy every single time, then I can totally understand its my problem.
But have I ever been like that? Do I do that all the time? I can even use the fingers on my right hand and count how many times I've done something like that for the past 4 years.
But only recently, I don't feel good (and you were part of the reason) and I needed someone.
When I came to you showing signs of cries for help, all I got were a few cold replies, den nothing.
Not even until the next day.
Where are you when I needed you?
Then next day I couldn't take your cold shoulders anymore and tried to act like I'm okay and tried talking to you.
I told you I feel neglected, like you didn't care.
And again, you showed me that you didn't care.
Then you gave me these 10 values thing and asked me to rank them.
Is this what you're going to say to me when I told you I feel neglected by you?
And after trying further to get you to comfort me, all I got were one sentence replies and you telling me you're going to bed.
You used to tell me you will want to solve any arguments we have before we end the day.
But now, you just brush me off and wants to sleep, leaving me helpless in the middle of the night with a heart full of pain.
I don't know anymore, have I wasted 4 years of my life for this?
How do you sleep peacefully when you know your loved one is in pain.
How could you?
Maybe you just don't love me anymore.
Have I ever asked for alot of your attention, time and money?
Have I not been understanding enough?
These 4 years, people asked me if this is really what I want, because they feel that you don't seem to treat me well. They say that you are selfish and only cared about yourself.
I told them you show care and concern differently,
maybe I was just lying to myself.
Maybe I was just numbing myself from the truth, telling myself that I'm happy when I'm with you.
All I needed was your emotional support, when I'm feeling down and feel like shit.
If I'm those crazy-ass bitch that feels needy every single time, then I can totally understand its my problem.
But have I ever been like that? Do I do that all the time? I can even use the fingers on my right hand and count how many times I've done something like that for the past 4 years.
But only recently, I don't feel good (and you were part of the reason) and I needed someone.
When I came to you showing signs of cries for help, all I got were a few cold replies, den nothing.
Not even until the next day.
Where are you when I needed you?
Then next day I couldn't take your cold shoulders anymore and tried to act like I'm okay and tried talking to you.
I told you I feel neglected, like you didn't care.
And again, you showed me that you didn't care.
Then you gave me these 10 values thing and asked me to rank them.
Is this what you're going to say to me when I told you I feel neglected by you?
And after trying further to get you to comfort me, all I got were one sentence replies and you telling me you're going to bed.
You used to tell me you will want to solve any arguments we have before we end the day.
But now, you just brush me off and wants to sleep, leaving me helpless in the middle of the night with a heart full of pain.
I don't know anymore, have I wasted 4 years of my life for this?
How do you sleep peacefully when you know your loved one is in pain.
How could you?
Maybe you just don't love me anymore.
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
2017 so far........
Started the year at Corine and Kenneth's place for food, drinks and games!
My brother adopted a kitty at his new place, Icing! Who is very shy
Charlotte's first birthday. Xianqiang the first among us to get married & have a kid. The next day after the celebration, his wife gave birth to a second one. WTF, he never let his wife rest is it HAHHAHAHAHA
Trampoline park at some ulu place in Jurong, no air con one, hot die us.
Dinner meetup at some ulu KBBQ buffet place near Little India, cause Yiru buy from Groupon lol.
During CNY.
My cousin got married.
Bro's 29th birthday. Thanks Shu Ting for treating us to An Ox Box's dry aged beef! Was so goooooood
My mom force me to throw the Doraemon away which my first boyfriend bought for me when I was 15. Because it turned mouldy and had a mouldy smell oops. Actually wanted to throw it 2 years ago I think, cause I had a nightmare about it. But keep dragging cause I couldn't bear to. :( Bye doraemon!
LOL. During CNY when the Nippon sales people bought them some tangerine trees and hampers and asked for a photo. I took it as a farewell photo. Heh bye! Won't miss this place and the people, and thankful for the opportunity there, to allow me to be where I am today (technically I won't be at current company if I didn't get experience here I guess, so even though this place sucks and wasted 1 year of my life, I'm still glad I got some experience)
Shin Hua's wedding! So nice to catch up with the rest of the girls! Attend wedding until blur already.
Celebrated Bong's birthday at some weird cafe!
Celebrated Yanru's birthday at some korean restaurant in Sunset Way!
CNY dinner at Bong's. Shun bian celebrate Phil's Mom birthday.
Carol's birthday! At Korean restaurant again hahahaha
SOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE!
My fourth pillion in my riding life so far. LOL so stressful that time, I hardly pillion people, and she was so scared also. But we are alive! :D
Went JB with my 'JB gang' LOL. Eat and shop, and squeeze and push at custom zzzzzzzzz
CNY at Jenny's place! Loads of food and gambling.
Finally did some trekking which we have been planning for years. Like seriously. Cause we said our weekends are always the same (Eat, watch movie, nua) due to his work schedule, and wanted to do some activities that doesn't cost $$, because normally in SG do what. Only cafe hopping, do hipster stuff and abit bo liao so... we only can think of this. Lol but Vic wasn't used to it and was super tired after that.
And some selfies. :D
Lol injured myself recently (too much bodycombat and bodypump with not enough stretching) and I couldn't stand straight. So Timx and I slowly walked to Liang Court for lunch and I was in so much pain. When I saw this I just slow in $2 for a few minutes massage. HAHAHA super pathetic. Ended up going to see a doctor for 2 days MC to be bedridden. Until now still can't train cause still super sensitive.
OK I realised I always blog when I'm studying for exams. WTH. OK BYE
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Hello
Hello.. Haven't been updating. Was using my brother's computer to update my Singpass thingy and decided to blog abit.
Exams next Friday, followed by Bernice's wedding on Saturday.
Then following week will be my brother's wedding.
My period is coming, pimples are exploding on my face (doesn't help when I wear my full-face everyday)
Getting fat (I'm at my heaviest in my whole life now, basically old clothes don't fit anymore and yes I'm pretty depressed about it!) and broke.
Bought my bike on 17 April 2016.
Finances ain't good. Tuition stopped cause my kid moved, went Korea in January and spent $3k,
then bought my bike (had to loan quite some money from a friend) at $7,300. Then my gym membership expired and I renewed it at $2,700.
So I'm in a pretty bad financial status right now.
When exams are over, I'll start looking for delivery jobs though I already have one pending which I hope will work out after the training is done.
Practically I wiped my savings and I'm in debt now. HAHA wtf.
It's okay peiyi, just need to find other sources :3
For now, I need to mug.
Sigh-pie. Bye world. I need to work on myself
Exams next Friday, followed by Bernice's wedding on Saturday.
Then following week will be my brother's wedding.
My period is coming, pimples are exploding on my face (doesn't help when I wear my full-face everyday)
Getting fat (I'm at my heaviest in my whole life now, basically old clothes don't fit anymore and yes I'm pretty depressed about it!) and broke.
Bought my bike on 17 April 2016.
Finances ain't good. Tuition stopped cause my kid moved, went Korea in January and spent $3k,
then bought my bike (had to loan quite some money from a friend) at $7,300. Then my gym membership expired and I renewed it at $2,700.
So I'm in a pretty bad financial status right now.
When exams are over, I'll start looking for delivery jobs though I already have one pending which I hope will work out after the training is done.
Practically I wiped my savings and I'm in debt now. HAHA wtf.
It's okay peiyi, just need to find other sources :3
For now, I need to mug.
Sigh-pie. Bye world. I need to work on myself
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
1.
He drove to work in his newly bought car, a short while after he started working.
This wouldn't come as a surprise, as he holds the First Class Honor in his local university, in a country where paper qualifications are more important than any other quality factor a person may have.
Especially so when you want a stable job, or so they call the "iron-bowl" in the government sector.
Higher your qualifications from your local uni, higher the chance you get to climb up the ladder quick. Just go to work 8-5, drive home and the rest of the day is yours.
He's your perfect Singapore boy, studying his whole life comfortably with the support of parents without having to worry for anything else because other than getting As, what else is there to worry about? Any presents or gifts, don't worry about it, Mama will get it for you, just focus on your studies
She was waiting for the bus outside her house, preparing to tear through the pushing crowd to earn a spot on the bus, especially so when the bus does not come on time, followed by running through the hoards of slow-moving people to get to the train, then trying to catch her breath after all the running and anxiety. And praying hard the train doesn't stall for no reason, just like every other morning.
She holds just a Diploma in her local polytechnic, still pursuing her non-local degree, while trying to earn a meager sum in the day, so as to provide for herself and pay her school fees. She grabs any opportunities to work odd jobs, which means no sleep sometimes, just to earn that few extra hundred bucks.
She's the not-so-perfect Singapore girl, having to work part-time while studying in Secondary school because her Mom told her to "earn your own money if you want to buy anything". So she joined her friends to work at a factory packing cookies for Chinese New Year when she was 12, followed by working for various fast food outlets when she turned 14, earning $2.80/hour, to when she turned 21, earning $4.50/hour until she graduated from her local poly. Because her mother did not have enough money for her, because her mother had more than enough on her own plate. She did not want to be a burden to her. Because she loved her mother.
Oh yes, Perfect Singapore boy and Not-so-Perfect Singapore girl shares the same parents.
This wouldn't come as a surprise, as he holds the First Class Honor in his local university, in a country where paper qualifications are more important than any other quality factor a person may have.
Especially so when you want a stable job, or so they call the "iron-bowl" in the government sector.
Higher your qualifications from your local uni, higher the chance you get to climb up the ladder quick. Just go to work 8-5, drive home and the rest of the day is yours.
He's your perfect Singapore boy, studying his whole life comfortably with the support of parents without having to worry for anything else because other than getting As, what else is there to worry about? Any presents or gifts, don't worry about it, Mama will get it for you, just focus on your studies
She was waiting for the bus outside her house, preparing to tear through the pushing crowd to earn a spot on the bus, especially so when the bus does not come on time, followed by running through the hoards of slow-moving people to get to the train, then trying to catch her breath after all the running and anxiety. And praying hard the train doesn't stall for no reason, just like every other morning.
She holds just a Diploma in her local polytechnic, still pursuing her non-local degree, while trying to earn a meager sum in the day, so as to provide for herself and pay her school fees. She grabs any opportunities to work odd jobs, which means no sleep sometimes, just to earn that few extra hundred bucks.
She's the not-so-perfect Singapore girl, having to work part-time while studying in Secondary school because her Mom told her to "earn your own money if you want to buy anything". So she joined her friends to work at a factory packing cookies for Chinese New Year when she was 12, followed by working for various fast food outlets when she turned 14, earning $2.80/hour, to when she turned 21, earning $4.50/hour until she graduated from her local poly. Because her mother did not have enough money for her, because her mother had more than enough on her own plate. She did not want to be a burden to her. Because she loved her mother.
Oh yes, Perfect Singapore boy and Not-so-Perfect Singapore girl shares the same parents.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)